I have been overweight for most of the last 15 years. I am 45.
I grew up super skinny and ate anything and everything I wanted. And, I never gained a pound. I recall when I was a senior in college, being asked more than once if there was something wrong with me. I looked sick. I was embarrassed and tried desperately to gain weight. I had a 29 inch waist and am 5’9″. I believe I weighed 135 pounds.
Finally at about 23, I just filled out. I gained about 30 pounds and finally looked normal. It was my ideal weight and I was thrilled. And, I still could eat whatever I wanted. I maintained this with no problem until age 29. For the first time in my life, I gained weight by eating too much and by eating the wrong things. I gained about 25 pounds and weighed 190. This started my weight problem.
I have gone up and down since. I have dieted and lost weight many times. But, I have never finished my efforts and met my goals. I have managed to get down to a comfortable “overweight” a few times. That weight for me is where I think I at least hide it better in my clothes. My motivation to do the hard work and make sacrifices diminishes and I slowly go back to eating whatever I want and restart all of the bad habits. Denial kicks in and I am suddenly fat again. I have awareness of it along the way, but somehow manage to not really see it fully. And, I completely quit weighing myself because I don’t want to know.
On January 1 of this year (2013), my best friend, Rachel and I spent the day together eating lots of left over bad food from the night before. She was overweight too. She decided that we needed to make some goals. We agreed they would not be New Year’s resolutions, but simply goals to take better care of ourselves.
I did not know how much I weighed. I did know that most of my clothes did not fit. I am embarrassed to share that I was wearing one pair of jeans every day. They were 35 inch waist and I could barely button them. I only washed them once a week because they would be extra tight when they came out of the dryer. I knew I needed at least a 36 – probably higher, but I refused to buy them. I was so uncomfortable every day. I could no longer tuck in a shirt. If I did, you would see that I was barely buttoning my jeans. I refused to wear anything that was knit because it would hug my rolls and showed my belly worse. Most of my shirts would not button around my chest – yes, I had sagging man boobs!
When Rachel and I weighed ourselves on New Year’s Day, I was shocked to learn that I was at my all-time high of 210 pounds. It truly was my full denial being ripped away. Why the heck was I shocked?
It was just prior to this that Tina approached me and told me I needed to start exercising. I knew this was her subtle and kind way of telling me that my weight was out of control. I agreed, but worked really hard at avoiding really doing it. I hate exercising! However, as part of my goals with Rachel on New Year’s Day, she and I spent a couple of weeks doing some exercise. I quickly managed to eliminate this routine though.
I did manage to change my eating habits some and fairly quickly lost 10 pounds. I was somehow glad to be just under 200. I weighed 199.7. Though I maintained this weight, that is pretty much where it stopped – – still miserable in my one 35 waist, one pair of jeans.
In June of this year (2013) Tina approached me with going on a 21-day No Sugar Jumpstart. I know now that she didn’t really think I would do it. I told her I would consider it. I was hesitant and lacked confidence. It came down to just days prior to the start date and I told her yes. Since I said yes, I was committed. I know that accountability works for me. It is a huge key. And, I knew this was my chance. I actually got excited.
I spent the Sunday prior to the start date (June 16) reading the material and planning my meals. My partner and I went to the grocery store and we spent the afternoon cooking. I knew that preparation would be another big key for me in succeeding. I am not a big cook, hate the grocery store and basically do little preparing what I am going to eat. But, we did it. I was ready.
The first few days were tough. The main things I missed were diet coke and gum – 2 things I was having a lot of. After that, I was pretty good. I also quickly started dropping pounds. It motivated me a lot. I lost 5 pounds the first week and another 5 pounds the second. In just 2 weeks, I ditched the 35 waist jeans and fit into my 33s. They were tight, but I was used to that. I was suddenly pulling shirts out of my closet that I hadn’t worn for a long time. I was thrilled. I could see it in my face and people were commenting.
Also, Tina was making me take walks with her. Yes – she was making me. Our first walk was somewhere between 3 and 4 miles. I couldn’t believe I could even do it. It is the farthest I have ever walked! We continued 2-3 times per week. I was so proud.
I finished the 21 day No Sugar Jumpstart by losing 10 pounds. I felt good, I was confident and determined to maintain my effort and reach my goal of 30 pounds.
Though I continued on the plan, I decided I could drink occasionally (though had to switch from beer to Vodka), drink diet coke some (though not have it in the refrigerator at home) and chew gum. I did okay on this, but not great. I cheated more than I thought I would. But, I continued my walks with Tina. And, I maintained my new weight.
Learning from this whole experience that I do really well with a strict goal and accountability, Tina and I decided to go back on full-time and do another 2 weeks of the detox. On August the 12th, I went back on. In 2 weeks, I lost another 7 pounds!
Again, it was another big difference. In 2 and half months, I lost a total of 17 pounds. That is amazing. I have literally spent a full year losing that much before.
I am still maintaining and losing some weight, even though it is slower. My clothes now fit great. I feel so much better. I am still working toward my goal and I am still confident that I will accomplish it. For me, I am learning about lifestyle change. I have to meet my goal this time and I will!
Leave a Reply